News flash! The product sample package has been delivered!
Dave Hill did it! He actually took the time to start a conversation with the lost time traveller at the info@federalfundingprogram.com address. You’ll find their mail exchange below, and even if this whole thing still just might be about time travel, I’ve taken the liberty of editing the thread cronologically, so that it will be easier to read.
Also. Check out Dave’s alien online store (Alien Technology Online Catalog) a twww.davesplanet.net/store/
This is the short version of what has happened this far:
Dave started mailing the time traveller (Bob White), who eventually wanted a sample of some of the machinery. That wasn’t a problem according to Dave since he has access to replication technology.
Dave opens his alien tech web store and eventually sends Bob the time traveller a sample of the industrial trans-warp generator by USPS. The package arrived and we where impatiently awaiting Bob’s response. Which was quite surprising. He just went on!
When I first wrote this I thought both Dave and Bob has some great material for a series of Sci-fi short stories, but now it’s more in the line of a psychiatric yearbook article.
Shortcut links:
Contact is establised between Dave and Bob
Dave opens the Alien Technology Online Catalog
Dave sends of a sample product
Tom Manion has an idea
The product sample has arrived at Bob’s
My first responce to Dave.
On torsdag, jul 10, 2003, at 00:00 Europe/Stockholm, Dave Hill wrote:
I’ve been having a field day with this guy, I made up a half dozen photoshop creations matching his request list and have had this email going back and forth for a while now. Let me know if you want to keep receiving this thread.
From: Dave Hill
Nikkes comment:the thread was broken here so I don’t have a timestamp for the first mail
To: bob white
Subject: RE: Dwg Needed
I told you once before that I could get you most of
those items, only the time
transducing capacitors are out of stock. I usually sell
all of this and more on
eBay, buy more than one item at a time and I’ll combine
the shipping and
temporal transportation charges.———————————–
From: ”bob white”
Date: Mon, 07 Jul 2003 23:43:08 -0500Hello,
I am glad you are serious on doing business.
Here are the models I’m interested in. Are these or
newer units available?
http://www.federalfundingprogram.com/watch.jpg
http://www.federalfundingprogram.com/warpwatch.jpgNikke komment: The two URL’s above opens framesets that might eventually be used for something else. The true images are at:
http://64.176.171.3/watch.jpg
http://64.176.171.3/warpwatch.jpgPlease email photos of what is available.
Let me know of a secure phone # I may reach you at and
best time to call.I’m looking forward to doing business with you.
Please reply ASAP.
Thank You
Bob———————————–
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: Tue, 8 Jul 2003 19:24:28 -0700Bob, thanks for your prompt reply, find attached photos
of the items you have requested. Watch models are currently
out of stock but we have a nice keychain version available. I
look forward to doing business with you.Dave
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: Tue, 8 Jul 2003 19:58:59 -0700
To: ”bob white”
Subject: RE: Dwg Needed
Oh one more thing, I know you didn’t have this on the list
but surely you are going to need a quantum wave processing
unit to drive some of this equipment, I’ve included a photo
of our latest Intel version.———————————–
From: ”bob white”
Date: Wed, 09 Jul 2003 13:58:25 -0500Hello,
Yes I would be interested in the items you have available.
While I’m not familer with these models, I will take what you
have. These are self generating, correct? I am not looking
for units which rely on grids to operate. Do they allow for a
full rotation through existences? If not what dimension range
do these account for? I will take all you have if the price
is right next to competitors such as stat and skynet. What is
your asking price for this equipment you emailed me? I hope
you have an immediate secure delivery available? Let me know
ASAP Please. I’m looking forward to conducting business.Thank You
———————————–
From: Dave Hill
Sent: Wednesday, July 09, 2003 4:19 PM
To: bob white
Subject: RE: Dwg NeededBob, as I also posess replication technology, the quantity
and quality of your order will not be a problem. The keychain
version (model LX12) works one day at a time, you push the
+/- button and advance or go backward one day. I suppose
there is no limit on the number of times you push the button,
so in theory this does allow travel through the full rotation
of existance. The ”Loc” buttons will cycle you back/forth
through pre-programmed temperal locations. Price on these is
2000 galactic credits in quantities under 100, 1500 galactic
credits in quantities of 100 or more.You notice the dilithium powered induction unit is much
larger, it is capable of transporting up to 20 metric tons
with the smaller series of crystal Ionizor, 500 metric tons
with the larger series. It comes with the convenient GE
Universal Remote pictured. Price on these is 50,000 galactic
credits in quantities under 100, 48,000 galactic credits in
quantities of 100 or more.The Duracell Ultra Time Transduction Capacitor (TTC) series
23200 (5X24 compatible) rated at 6 joules is 50 galactic
credits each. I’m not sure why you need such a small
transducer as this, it certainly isn’t going to be capable of
powering the equipment you specified.Let me know temporal and cronological delivery coordinates
and I’ll get you a dealer sample of the keychain unit and the
Time Transduction Capacitor. I look forward to doing business
with you.
Dave
As far as theories go, I think everyone is wrong. The numbers at the bottom are from using a standard bulk mailing program that does that automatically. He’s also not trying to promote any product, he’s just having fun. Here is his latest response to me:
From: ”bob white”
Date: Wed, 09 Jul 2003 18:17:01 -0500Hello,
I’m glad to hear that you also posess replication technology as you will be able to send me a product sample first. That shows you have total confidence in your units. This will surely make me confident of what you are offering. I don’t know what it is with my location, but nobody has been able to teleport stuff to my coordinates and have it arrive ok. Please send me the keychain product sample by standard Fedex delivery. Does the keychain have it’s own inducing motor, nuclear, or chemical power supply? Most of the kinds of units like this I’m familer with either use the inducing motors, or the elements barosian and kryoken from sector 5:12 of the pleiades. I need the time transducing capacitor in itself wih the complete jumper. Yes, if the keychain unit is not self generating of course I am going to need a larger capacitor to provide the complete power required, yes. Please mail sample to:
PK Marketing
8 Albert Street
Woburn, MA 01801As soon as it arrives we will be able to do business A LOT of business together.
How soon can you get that out?Thank You
I now think Dave is right. It’s a prank or a joke from start to end, or maybe a sci-fi writer gathering material for his next book…
I went over to my brothe’s for dinner (lamb casserole and a few glasses of good Spanish wine) and when I got back I had two more mails from Dave. One, a BCC and the other the forward below. Dave has actually sent Bob a sample!
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: tor jul 10, 2003 21:12:04 Europe/Stockholm
To: ”Nikke Lindqvist”
Subject: FWD: RE: Dwg NeededNikke, I think when I BCC you in on my mail that your spam filter kills it because it’s not addressed to you.
I had one of these HUGE old antique hard drives lying around, you know, the kind that are about the size of a shoe box and holds about a meg? I ripped it apart a few months ago and found all sorts of fun parts inside, one was a really fun looking motor about the size of my fist. I just mailed it to Bob, the tracking number is below:
From: ”bob white”
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2003 12:09:06 -0500Please get back to my last reply as I would like to be able to conduct business right away.
Thank You
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2003 10:54:40 -0700Sorry for the delay, I intended to wait until I had a FedEx tracking number for you, should be later today. Since you seem like a serious businessman I am sending you a dealer sample of an industrial warp generator instead of the little keychain version we discussed. Just hook it up to any old standard signal generator and your ready to go.
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2003 11:40:12 -0700Dear Mr. White,
Your USPS tracking number is
0300 6000 0001 3914 9129Your tracking number can be checked athttp://www.usps.com/shipping/trackandconfirm.htm
Please find enclosed the industrial trans-warp generator sample we discussed. While not quite as powerful as the crystal-ionized control units, it is orders of magnitude better than the simple key chain version as far as transportable mass and of programmability. I felt confident our business relationship warranted such an investment. Simply hook it up to any common standard signal generator and you’ll be on your way.
Pleas also feel free to investigate my online alien technology store for any additional items you may be interested in, it’s athttp://davesplanet.net/store
I look forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely,
Dave Hill
Dave@davesplanet.net
7/14 2003 (Vive la France!) I just got back from a couple of days out in the country side with the family, and the only news from Dave was this BCC:
From: ”bob white”
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2003 17:16:54 -0500Thank You, When may I expect to have it arrive? I went to the usps tracking link you provided but it says:
You entered 0300 6000 0001 3914 9129
There is no record of that item. If it was mailed recently, information may not yet be available. Please try again later. Also said another time I checked, tracking info was not purchased on this item.
Hopefuly it will be available later?
Thanks
————
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: fre jul 11, 2003 15:54:39 Europe/Stockholm
To: ”bob white”
Subject: RE: Dwg NeededNot to worry Bob, it just hadn’t been scanned yet, it got scanned leaving Des Moines last night.
More input, this time from Tom Manion:
From: Tom Manion
Date: fre jul 11, 2003 19:50:59 Europe/Stockholm
To: nikke at-sign lindqvist thedot com
Subject: Time TravellerNikke,
We ought to watch Dave’s thread with interest. If it turns out that the Woburn, MA address is real, and if it can be confirmed that this is the origin of this particular spam, then we all should take the opportunity to get rid of our dis-used warp-generators, temporal capacitors, etc that we might have lying around. Send all your old junk to Woburn. I can’t imagine what this guy would do with several thousand pounds of old motherboards, disk drives, toxic waste, etc., but it might slow him down the next time he thinks about putting out Spam like he did. It would be fun to do, anyway.
Regards,
Tom in Texas, temporally.
A bit too costly for me, here in Sweden. But if you’re closer to Woburn…
I just got this mail from Dave:
Dear Mr. White,
I am pleased to see from the tracking information that the package arrived safely. I was a bit concerned that the address you had me ship to was a different street and number than your federalfundingprogram.com domain was originally registered to, though now that site seems to be down and the contact information changed to somewhere entirely different. Did you happen to be in the middle of relocating your international headquarters?Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns at all about the industrial sample shipped to you. As you can see, the signal input is just a standard quad input triaxialating signal with a variable gain temperal offset, I think Radio Shack carries these if you don’t have one on hand in your lab. Power is totally self contained, as you requested. Remember to keep the sample shielded from electro-static shock or strong external electromagnetic fields at all times.
As always, I look forward to hearing back from you. Should you decide to do business with our company, all that is required for your initial order is a good-faith deposit of one million galactic credits to our account on Alpha Prime, institution routing number
75-AP1-2239-927-8850.Track & Confirm
Shipment Details
You entered 0300 6000 0001 3914 9129
Your item arrived at 7:28 am on July 15, 2003 in WOBURN, MA 01801. Status is updated every evening. Please check again later.
Here is what happened earlier:
ENROUTE, July 14, 2003, 6:22 pm, SPRINGFIELD, MA 01152
ENROUTE, July 11, 2003, 3:07 am, DES MOINES, IA 50395Sincerly,
David Hill
After this mail, we all awaited the ending email from Bob. But what came made me open a new page about this affair.
went without second thoughts. I love it when people poke around in places they probably should stay out of.
Hi Dave,
Just incredible. Thank you for forwarding, and I think you won’t have a problem with me publishing this. I will however hold you email address.
My most recent theory about this whole thing was that this really was a PR stunt (or product placement scheme) forToshiba’s new cartridge-based micro fuel cells.
http://sci.newsfactor.com/perl/story/20920.htm
But after seeing Bobs pics and reading his new prose style, I don’t know anylonger.
My guess is that you both are having field days.Here’s a snippet about the power cell that arrived i my mail. It’s just as Sci-Fi as your conversation with Bob I think:
”Toshiba new fuel cell launch could boost product development Toshiba plans to launch the world’s first next-generation power system enabling continuous use of laptop computers without recharging next year.
The system uses methanol cartridge-based micro fuel cells. Fuel cells
produce electricity via an electrochemical reaction of oxygen and hydrogen, without generating pollutants. Unlike lithium batteries, which take time to recharge, fuel cell system users will be able to keep operating their PCs by replacing the methanol fuel cartridges. While Yasuhiro Goto, chief research scientist at Toshiba’s corporate research & development centre, told Dow Jones Newswires that availability of the cutting-edge system could be limited at first, analysts expect the market for micro fuel cell systems for mobile devices to take off by 2010. Fuel cells may take on the same importance for Japanese firms that oil has for Saudi Arabia, according to Kun Soo Lee, former senior analyst at WestLB Securities Pacific.Lee forecasts that about 17% of portable devices, including mobile phones and notebook PCs, will use fuel cells in 2010, amounting to a market worth about ¥850bn. Fuel cells could boost new product development, Goto said: ”History also tells us that the creation of a new battery drives the development of new product markets.” In the 10 years since lithium batteries appeared, mobile phones have become commonplace worldwide, he added. ”
Cheers,
Nikke
Now, as the story developes, I’m not so sure about anything longer…