I’ve been out of time for two nights, and just came home, eager to catch the latest developements in Dave Hill’s mail conversation with time traveller Bob White. When I left, the package with a phony sample of a ”industrial trans-warp generator” (really parts from a very old, outdated external hard drive).
During my absence things have taken a rather surprising direction. It turns out Time Traveller Bob has been at this for years. (He claims in one of the mails he has sent over 2 billion emails). If you want the story from the beginning, you can read the original mail, that got things started is published on
http://www.lindqvist.com/time-traveller-in-need-of-spare-parts/
The first mails in this ongoing mail exchange between Dave Hill and Bob the time traveller can be read at
http://www.lindqvist.com/dave-is-claiming-the-time-travellers-reward/
Here’s Bob’s expanatory mail of the latest developements (sent to me and others):
From: Dave Hill
Date: ons jul 16, 2003 20:24:35 Europe/Stockholm
To: ”Nikke Lindqvist”
Subject: FWD: RE: DWG NEEDEDI wanted to let you all know the latest development in the time traveler saga. I have finally figured out this persons motivation behind this whole thing, I know there have been lots of interesting and bizzare theories but the truth turns out to be a very simple explanation after all. He’s crazy as a loon. Yes, that’s right, he really believes everything he’s saying, enough so that he is pouring money into newspaper and email advertising campaigns. And what makes it even more interesting is that even though I’ve told him it was all a joke, he is still convinced that I have the technology to free him from this dimension of space and time and undo the damage infliced on him by illegal time travelers altering his reality. Oh yea, he has my home address too. Life isn’t any fun if you can’t laugh at yourself!
My whole email thread (except what’s below that hasn’t been posted yet) with ”Bob” is at
http://www.lindqvist.com/xpo/index.php?ID=1142Bob’s spam that started this whole thing is reported at
http://www.lindqvist.com/index.php?newID=912
That said, I’m quite glad I did follow my instincts, and didn’t publish Bob’s email address during all this time. Reading through this exchange, I am truely amazed that Dave is still keeping it up.
This was Bob’s reply to Dave after receiving the phony product sample, not a trace of irony here. I bet Dave was excpecting either a mocked sour note or some kind of explanation at this time:
From: ”bob white”
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2003 23:00:58 -0500Hello Friend,
To answer your question, we are not relocating. I am simply not the tech contact for federalfundingprogram.com. Yes, the unit has arrived to me safely today and I am looking forward to being able to conduct business with you. I do have questions and am going to need your help on the operation of the trans generator in conjunction with a signal generator. You see when it comes to frequency and programing I am far from an expert. The type of units I am used to dealing with are all pre installed/programed. All that is required for operation is to set the dimension, time date year coordinates. The crystal ionized unit running it’s own software your offering appears to also be just that. I will be ordering everything for sure just as soon as I am able to make this sample work. Tomorrow I’m running out to get a signal generator. Any particular store you recommend to find them at? Any particular model you recommend?
The short cord coming out of the trans warp field generator is obviously not the cord which plugs directly into the signal generator, what is the name of the cord I need to make the connection between the two? And then I just need to know an overview of how to use the signal generator to make this work.Looking forward to your reply.
Thank You
At this time Davve starts backing out of the whole affair. He goes belly up, telling Bob it was all a joke:
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: ons jul 16, 2003 07:55:23 Europe/Stockholm
To: ”bob white”
Subject: RE: DWG NEEDEDBob, after doing some research on the web it begins to become apparent that you are not simply having fun with this, that instead you truly believe what you are saying and that you have been trying for years to acquire this technology, pouring money into placing ads in the paper, paying for bulk mailing campaign, I only hope you didn’t send money to any people. Please do not waste your money on a signal generator, what I sent you is just an electric motor out of a very old hard drive. I, and all the other people who have responded to you, believed you were just having fun with this and so we played along. Instead it appears (and I mean this in no derogatory way) that you may actually be in need of some serious psychiatric care. Here are a couple of the links that I found:
http://www.smooshspace.com/weblog/archive/000284.html
http://albanydan.suckahs.org/archives/000166.phpIf I’m wrong, and this is just a game you are playing, let me know and we’ll pretend I ever sent this particular email and I’ll give you complete details on how to make your new transwarp generator send you back in time. If you really are serious, then my favorite motor/paperweight isn’t going to help you and if you wouldn’t mind dropping it in an envelope and sending it back to me I’d appreciate it, the return address was on the box.
Rrrright. So. With evidence that Bob has been doing this thing for nearly a year and rumors that he also has advertised in newspapers. What else could Dave do. I don’t quite understand why he wants his old fan motor back though, except for hoping bob would mail the whole package including the return address… But there is a response from Bob.
Bob here goes into a denial phase. Reading his mail it becomes clear to all that Dave might have put himself in a spot:
From: ”bob white”
Date: Wed, 16 Jul 2003 11:54:08 -0500
Hello,Just because I am not involved in or trained under some corrupt government agency, does not mean I don’t need this stuff, nor does it mean I have no clue what I am talking about or crazy. Plain and simple, a certain group has come back and made illegal changes to my timeline altering my life and health in terrible ways. Now if you would consider helping me without brushing me off denying everything because you see me as a nut, or unworthy person I would really appreciate it.
I know you are trained to deny and not assist
anything but the expert time travelers, but that does not mean I have no clue what I am doing or unworthy of this equipment. Sure it is true that most people would see my email, expesially my (earlier) emails as a joke. No doubt a lot of people have tried to trick me, but I am not clueles and know that you were in fact legit to begin with based on your specs. Don’t let my (past) emails fool you into thinking I’m not worthy because I am. If you were in my shoes you would want the same respect to be given a chance as I deserve. You even said your self, (A SALE IS A SALE, we won’t tell if you don’t!)(To prove that I’m not clueles I will:1. Describe travel documents required by the INS.
Visas signify granted permission to travel in a certain sector. It is not required if the individual is within the sector of origin. Credentials vary, depending on standards of the ”current” government. A VISA or time travel document is not neccesary for certain groups whose authority excedes that of the TDPRCC (or Time Displacement and Portal Regulation
Control Commision). These groups would include (but not only) members of STAT and employees of SKYNET Communications and Technology (who origionally developed the old time displacement technology and is currently still making great strides in the field of cybernetics). Many individuals who do not recognize the authority of the TDPRCC illegally travel.In order to obtain a Visa from the TDPRCC (this information is irrelevant when talking about other travel documents)a physical. A psychiatric evaluation by the offices of the TDRPCC and a birth certificate. An applicant must also state a
purpose and be fitted with an electrical pulse tracker and heart disrupter. This is to ensure that if the approved purpose and destination of the travel is not completed or is falsified a small electrical charge can disrupt the heartbeat of the traveler and cause immediate death. The TCRC (Time Continuity Repair Commision) will have to do an emergency travel to stop possible time disruption and time rips, and also to retrieve the corpse of the violator of law299 section
ITJ-H.2. Discuss the pro´s and con´s of desimulated Transconducter Coils and there relation to flux capacitors.
McConnel-Richards time fluid links which is
poised to replace current machinery as the standard method of temporal displacement has many flaws. These include (but are not limited to) molecular-rotation drip, cranial dissatisfaction, and Type-V chromosome implementation.The new technology does indeed have several flaws. These flaws are however being
adressed by the TDRPCC and are hopefully correctable. One of the main problems
in time fluid links is that the cranial cavity of most individual is turned inside out resulting in a very painful death. Also a problem which you may not have heard of is DNA distruption, and damage to many neccesary amino acids. The
pros of fluid links is the speed and the ability to not have to travel through time in a cycle. The old technology really only sends the traveler so far into the future as to cause the traveller to end up in the past. The problem with
this method is the strain and the neural dissruption cause by such an extreme
time shift. Fluid Link technology should be able to eliminate these problems if the technology is developed which will protect the traveller from the extreme forces put upon him by time travel. The only problem is that inorganic material
cannot travel except for certain very specific materials which have become the basis for all new cybernetic organisms.I hope this clarifys things, and we will be able to conduct business.
Thank You
I bet Dave went Ouch when that one arrived. Makes you wonter what too much Science Fiction can do to you.
But Dave pulls himself together and makes another attempt to back off. This time by going back to the style of their earlier mail exchange in a way to humor the raving luny, I guess.
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: ons jul 16, 2003 19:33:29 Europe/Stockholm
To: ”bob white”
Subject: RE: DWG NEEDEDBob,
Thanks so much for clarifying that for me. I knew you really were an authentic time traveler, I hope you didn’t mind that little test I gave you. The problem is that the TDPRCC raided my shop in the middle of the night, confiscated all my technology and left me stranded here alone and helpless in this timeline. They even accessed the remote software update functionality of the component I sent you (they got the serial number from my records) and permenantly deactivated it. I want you to know that I don’t blame you at all for my unfortunate turn of events, it’s the fault of the corrupt government officials who have done this to us. Yes, I know they came after me because I was trying to help you, but that wasn’t your fault and I hold no ill feelings toward you, you are just a lost traveler in need of a helping hand, and now I am too. If you do come across the technology to free us from this timeline I hope you will someday show me the same kindness I tried to show you.Your friend,
Dave
Before Bob has time to reply, this goes off from Dave:
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: ons jul 16, 2003 22:49:52 Europe/Stockholm
To: ”bob white”
Subject: RE: DWG NEEDEDBob, let’s try to think outside the box here for a bit. What you have been trying to accomplish for so long is a very difficult task, the actual transportation of matter (or your consciousness) back in time. What if we take a little different approach. Suppose we have a very small but intense effect that creates very small disturbences in the fabric of time, disturbences that flow very short distances forward and backward through time like ripples on a pond. Suppose the ripples only go back a few nanoseconds before becoming too small to detect. All we have to do is set up a repeater to listen for the ripples and then re-transmit the signal back another nanosecond. We start a ripple at time ”A” and it goes back in time a millisecond or so to time ”B” where the same machine detects and re-transmits the ripple back another millisecond to the same machine at time ”C”. We would be able to form a clear channel of digital or analog communication with the past and with the future. Not nearly as monumental a task as transporting matter, we could probably pull this off with spare parts from Radio Shack. We could use this technology to send messages to ourselves at past and future points in time, warning ourselves of danger and changing the previous chain of events. What do you think? I know how much you hate to abuse this technology but if we are going to fund this we are probably going to have to use this messaging machine to manipulate stocks or lotteries, otherwise we’ll never have the funding necessary to weild enough power to free ourselves. If you just can’t bring yourself to do that then I’ll honor your wishes and stay within the bounds of the law, we’ll just have to find another way.
Oh, I also have reason to believe my email may have been comprimised, I think government forces may be scanning through our comminications. Prior to having my technology confiscated I had some anti-intrusion contermeasures pick up fragments of message packets from my PC. Be on the lookout for government agents, they could be anywhere.
One thing I meant to ask, what was that program on the main page of the federalfundingprogram.com web site? I’m a very paranoid person by nature and was concerned about running a strange exe like that. If you tell me it’s ok then it must be ok.
But if Dave thought asking Bob questions of the somewhat shady busyness that went on at federalfundingprogram.com, he thought wrong. Bob next answer is full of sympathy. He thinks he found himself an ally. And he starts building on this alliance:
From: ”bob white”
Date: Wed, 16 Jul 2003 23:16:05 -0500Hello,
I am really sorry to hear they have raided your shop and stole everything! Depsite trying to be as secure as posible in my network, In over 2 years out of over 2 billion peopled emailed, and hundreds if not thousands of people who had the resouces to help me, not one of them has been able to get what I needed safely delivered to me without somthing weird going wrong. Even weird dreams and visions being put into peoples heads about me to cause an interference would be light to say the least compared to the full extent they have gone. Are you totally certain they were able to disable the transwarp generator you have sent me? You see when you told me about how your units have remote access for updates it made me worry as the bad ones can easily hack into them. Because of this, I have had my unit under a lead cover from the time it arrived as a precaution. When would the signal have been sent out? I do not know how they are doing it, but it is as if I am in thier universe and th
ey have total control over me. It is hard to tell if your analog communication device could work, but I am willing to try anything! I am always looking for plans to build a simple time travel circut, that way I can go where I need, and pick everything up directly in person.Below are plans to a simple south polarized vortex generator you can easily make if you know where to get element 289?
CHAPTER ONE. LET’S BUILD A VORTEX GENERATOR
The gamma radiation put off by the glowing blue moon crystals has been proven to cause cancer in hamsters so shielding is a must , forget about a north polarized vortex field many have either died or suffered horrible disfiguring accidents trying to tame that beast, they are far too dangerous for the armature time traveler.
We are going to build a common south polarized vortex generator with submicron quark engram shielding.
I know it sounds complicated but quark engram shielding is nothing more than a bit of whole wheat flour some lead dust and element 289 which can be purchased from my friends that live at the center of the earth for a few hundred dollars( Canadian ) they will not accept US currency they do not like the colors.
Now I know what you are thinking if they live at the center of the earth they surely must be color blind quite the contrary they have excellent vision so do not even think you can fool them by dipping some US currency in some red food coloring. They will get very angry if you try to fool them belive me the last thing you want is an angry subterainian earth dweller mad at you .
Ok let’s get down to it shall we Oh yes before we start read and understand all the directions that come with your power tools and always wear your safety glasses.
Ok the first thing you need is a collector dish to concentrate the polarized particle stream ,a stainless steel salad bowl works just fine for this don’t get cheap and try to use wood it absorbs 30.782% of the particle stream and could cause a fire.
Ok carefully wrap some #12 stranded wire around the perimeter of the bowl you will need exactly 14 turns not 13 not 15 it has to be 14 anything else and you may vaporize part of your body or cause a power failure in your neighborhood. Cause a power failure and you will have the I.G.T.A (inter galactic time agents) knocking at your door. You do understand it is illegal to construct a vortex generator without a license don’t you?
Ok once the wire is wrapped around the salad bowl you need to construct the ion flow director, for this you need a box of paper clips (4) number 12 wood screws the wrapper from a chicken bullion cube and (3) 7 ohm cross constrained palladium shielded transistors if you can’t get them from radio shack most vibrating adult toys contain at least 4 of these they are used to modulate the vibrations.
You need to connect the transistors in parallel then connect one end to the wire on the salad bowl. Now here comes the tricky part insert the 4 wood screws into the wall next to you spaced 4 inches apart hang a paper clip on each wood screw now forget about them they really don’t do anything. Carefully wrap the wired transistors with the wrapper from the bullion cube then plug the wire into a 120 vac outlet BE SURE THE POWER IS OFF AT THIS TIME.
Ok if you still have all your body parts and nothing is burning proceed to chapter 2.CHAPTER 2 SHIELDING IT IS YOUR FRIEND.
in a small plastic bowl add 2 cups wheat flour 1 tablespoon element 289 and whisk briskly with a fork, add 1.78 ounces of common windshield washer fluid stir until smooth.
Place on low heat and add the lead dust slowly stirring until it comes to a boil remove from heat and let sit for 30 mins. Once the shielding material has cooled carefully and evenly spread it on the outside of the salad bowl make sure there are no exposed wires or the field will break down after you power it up.
Ok that is about it for the vortex generator but as I said I highly recommend you do not use it for time travel unless you have experience it is a dangerous unit and if not built properly will kill any cloven hoofed animals within a 20 mile radius of your house.
And that’s the last I’ve heared. If I was Dave, I guess I would just try to drop it here.
Yes. That was the last update in Dave Hills mail exchange withe Bob White the time traveller. Bob just sent me this and I couldn’t agree more:
From: ”Dave Hill”
Date: tor jul 17, 2003 16:58:16 Europe/Stockholm
To: Nikke LindqvistIt’s certainly been a fun ride with Bob, I have to admit a lot of my motivation was to see what he was up to and where this would lead. Please don’t think that anything has gone badly, it’s just taken interesting new directions. I’ll certainly keep coresponding with Bob, but now that I understand what his perspective truly is I’ll be better able to keep things on an even keel. He actually fits in pretty well with my group, though he might be the most interesting member. Did you ever read the cover story on my web site? My motivation for sending the emails to you was to have fun with someone who was having fun with the rest of us, now that we know the truth about Bob I certainly don’t think any of us want to have any more fun at his expense so I don’t expect to send out any more of our email. Your motivations for posting these emails was much the same, and I think that’s reached a logical conclusion for you. I like what we’ve posted, it’s a great read, and it helps others know where Bob is coming from, but this part of the story has reached an end. I really apprecaite all your help too! Thanks.
Dave
And on that note we leave Dave and Bob alone. I will keep the stuff already posted, and kind of still hope that Bob will make that time leap eventually. But I will also try to keep an eye on Dave’s site at davesplanet.net, since he seems to be my kind of guy. It’s a pity really that we will probably never meet, as they say, IRL.
A few questions still remain unanswered though:
1. What should I do if Bob keeps sending me his spam?
2. What was that exe located at federalfundingprogram.com?
3. What did it do to downloaded computers?
You never know. Maybe the the thread will pup up again some day.